Hi guys, sorry I haven't been online in a while. My life feels like it's gone to shit lately and I needed some time away from dA. I'll probably stay on hiatus for a while longer but I won't delete any of the messages sitting in my inbox so I'll be able to reply to everything when I get back.
I'm scared, frustrated, tired, ashamed, and I want to puke, but I feel like I'm not allowed to be anything other than happy, so that's the way I act most of the time. It feels like I'm wearing a mask and frankly, I get tired of it after a while.
I've fucked up my education, my mother probably thinks I'm a loser, my parents' marriage is falling apart, and I'm really not quite sure what to do anymore.
*EDIT* Feeling better now after going out for frozen yogurt and DDR with *
SpiritedFang. I'm sorry for whining and being a buttface and thank you so much for putting up with my shit, guys.
`anmari has been spreading her infectious positivity throughout our community for over 6 years. Throughout this time Ana has been at the core of all things devious, passionately developing an eclectic gallery, helping organise devmeets, participating in chat events and also recently completed dedicating her time as a Community Volunteer. We are absolutely delighted to bestow the Deviousness Award for May 2013 to `anmari, congratulations! Read More
Sta.sh
Fave this journal (it will be your number)
Watch me IF you like my art~ ;v;
.......... The design MUST HAVE ONLY 2 COLORS; BLACK AND WHITE
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this journal 
I understand what its like putting on a Mask all the time. If I show any emotion Im usually pushed into unnecessary and petty arguments that leave me feeling pursued and bitter.
At the same time Im grateful I have my bf, and family to go to when I feel down. I can at least tell them what bugs me. Its always good to talk things out.
TESTOSTERONE INJECTED DIRECTLY INTO YOUR SPIRIT.
A cut here and there, a new implant of HOPE, a few gallons of WILLPOWER...
But most of all, a certain prescription with on it a clear, black on white sentence that tells you what it is you need do to get of there.
The thing is, there is only one doctor who is capable of these operations.
But I believe in that doctor, because she has made it this far, and surely won't give up if yogurt can heal.
That doctor, is no other than yourself.
YOU GO GIRL, YOU STAND YOUR (wo-)MAN, AND MAKE YOUR PARENTS PROUD BECAUSE YOU CAN!
I had fun making this comment, though I bet it could've had a better way of promoting your's truly. Oh well, humor is a medicine I like giving ^^
But can you imagine how proud you'll be of yourself when you manage it all?
YOU'LL FEEL LIKE PUNCHING BRICK WALLS TO DUST AND CRUNCHING THEM INTO DIAMONDS FOR PROFIT (moustache required). YOU'LL FEEL TRÉ BON!
I'm none too good with words of advice, but I listen well, and I can betcha that everything on your list is not your fault or can be fixed.
Also, Fro-yo helps everything, even if it is freezing outside XD
You sound like you need a hug.
But since I cannot be there in person a virtual hug will have to do for now.
Just hang in there and I'm sure everything will turn out fine in the end. o3o